*Look out internet, Sonic's live-action. This motion picture's like real-ly crappy-y!* (I'm pretty sure some music folk will critique it but whatever it fits the subject matter of this post)
Today is quite an interesting day, not only did I have a good lunch at the Tomato Bar but also it's the beginning of the Reiwa Era in Japan with Akihito abdicating and Naruhito taking over and THERE'S GOING to be a CIVIL WAR in Venezuela or at least an attempted uprising to rightly oust that commie loser Manduro; that and another shooting in some North Carolina university...whoop de doo, cue the nuttiness from ideological vultures just like the last numerous shootings did, it's a clown world after all.
Anyway, aside from that, the big news is that the "anticipated" live-action Sonic film has gotten its first trailer and...it looks like retarded crap. Like seriously, did any of the folks behind it think it would even be good? There's so much wrong with it that I might have to do a little analysis of the trailer.
Now to start off, it takes place in the real world, in the USA no less. Why? isn't it established in the games that the Sonic franchise takes place in a fantasy fictional setting that has a USA-like country with a powerful military (aka GUN)? That and Green Hill is a town of sorts; yes I know that the setting has both realistic cities and fantastical landscapes but how hard is it just to have the setting be the way it was in the games, even if some liberties need to be taken? Secondly Sonic himself looks crappy and that he looks like he belongs in another dimension. That or some college project to impress some chumps that never seen at least decent CGI before. Not to mention he gets hideous looking in some scenes thanks to him having teeth, real attractive guys. Thirdly, the plot seems to be alot like Detective Pikachu and some others where a human and a non-human creature team up to save the world or somethin', real original and the film doesn't bother trying something creative to compensate for using that trope. Fourthly, the humor is mostly lame, the whole "baby in a bag" is absolute cringe (that and him making a reference to the Fitbit device that I use). Also I forgot to mention that the film (at least this trailer) really likes to use SFX from the Mega Drive games to highlight that it really is about Sonic, talk about putting lipstick on a pig.
Speaking of cringe and putting something that James Marsden guy's in this film, just like he was in that piece of s--t Hop film; it's almost as if it's another sign the film's going to be bad. And if you ask me, I never found him as a decent actor, he's quite mediocre at best and a bore to watch. At least the best part is his him tranqing Sonic in the leg, just like how I feel only that I want to kill his ass instead of knocking him out. Though at least, there's Jim Carrey as Dr. Eggman (I refuse to use the name "Robotnik" thank you very much) and frankly he seems to be the best part of the film, even if my first impressions of him were slightly amused. Almost as if he needs to work on being funny and entertaining instead of having his energy wasted on austistic screeching on twitter about the USA being "infected" by "fascism" (less said about his artwork about Mussolini's corpse that brought his nutty granddaughter on board the better, and yes that s--t happened). I know I brought up his politics but still I don't give a damn what side on the spectrum he's on, he better be at least work on being something worthy for some unfortunate movie-goers to have when watching this asinine film (Samuel L. Jackson was still fun to watch in that lame-s--t Captain Marvel film despite him being salty about Trump). Afterall, after second viewing, he does come across as at least funny and entertaining and is trying to make the best out of a crappy film, so I rest my case.
Safe to say, I'm not looking forward to this stinker and if anything, either look forward to renting it or a Nostalgia Critic review (of which I will rightly be okay with and will not blame him not one bit). Hell all it does is make me look forward to seeing Detective Pikachu, which already looks promising and perhaps awesome as hell, at least it got the source material of Pokemon right in many respects. That and I'm glad many others around the internet are rightly trashing it as well, we all knew it was going to be bad, not the absolute worst but still; I'm even sure the likes of Chris-chan would not like it, neither will some of the notorious Sonic fanboys will.
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