Metal Slut Waifus and I: How the Waifus aren't the Main Problem of MSA

art done by BlueSquirrel 23

Since SNK came out with a new character as part of the update for that piece of ass Metal Slug Attack game (of which maybe I should just keep calling it "Metal Slug Ass-tack"...and I'll get to my gripe with SNK shilling it later on), and that plenty of people are getting frustrated about the "waifus" that the game is getting recently, I'd figure I'd put my two cents into this issue. And let me tell you as a bit of a spoiler, they aren't the main problem but a symptom of a bigger problem...

Now before I begin, let us go back to the time the first update for MSA came out, the one that had some new characters come out. Mind you I have long advocated for having new charas ever since I was a teenager falling in love with the franchise in the 2000's (long before that asscrap digital ghetto came out). Why you may ask? because to quote one of the MS designers, "it...would be good to [expand] the [Metal Slug universe] by focusing on other characters living [there] or creating more about the background and motivation of [the] main characters" and indeed having more new characters or at least more into the backstories of established ones would be one good way to bring depth into the mythos of a franchise that just hasn't done much since its inception. Seeing the newbies in question appear in Ass-tack made me somewhat bittersweet in that at least the game of which I detested had a few redeeming qualities, along with having Another Story of which I'll consider that the "campaign" mode of the game (and I'll get to that later on). However since then, the new characters have gotten disproportionately more and more female and more fanservicey as hell; not that I find that combination bad but it is a problem when the recent these days are almost entirely just that and no new male ones just recolors of previous units (and that something thousand Taro guy). Granted the gals in question have interesting backstories and whatnot, especially Shizuka and her taste in sweets, Jin the swordswoman having connections to her and Yoshino, both of which are part of the enemy factions, Destrade, the Zarya looking gal having a kind of "parental" relationship with Allen, and Dragunov's relations with her COs but the fact that they show more skin than necessary can be somewhat annoying to see even for someone like me. Yet part of why this is so can be summed up in one sentence: sex sells. And I'm pretty sure you know that already, I mean what else there can be for someone who are sexually attracted to women to get behind when it comes to the "waifus"? I wouldn't mind them in such a state if their "stripperrific" selves are like an alternate costume that can be somewhat more powerful yet fun to use (and troll players in PVP battles), yet that's not the case. In fact, it's safe to say that the waifus are also part of SNK Moneymore's strategy of unwisely continuing to prop up this not so decent game along with using microtransactions.

I make no secret I despise this game, since while it feels like it can be pretty decent at times (with the mechanics being actually alright despite being simple looking), it's infested with this gacha microtransaction nonsense that a lot of mobile games have for the reason of greed...and hurts the game, big time. I mean, I couldn't beat the first Another Story campaign (the one where you take the side of the PF squad and fight against the Martians) at all without having to either grind or buy stuff for a more tougher and appropriate unit with real money, same goes for a couple of battles outside of AS and that the grinding part throughout the game feels off and artificially tedious, especially with the fact that it would take a long time to get many of your units to higher levels, more stars, and better "frames".

It's not like Metal Gear 7/Solid 5: the Phantom Pain where (while it has microtransactions, it only thankfully applies to multiplayer and presumably not as intrusive) at least you can grind to get more items and equipment to take on more difficult assignments and get more enjoyment from replaying previous missions, all without the bullcrap that are "sorties", "medals", and "cranks". All those (as of this writing) 177 hours of game play took nothing but brains, guts, hands, controller, skill, and in some cases a strategy book from Piggyback and luck. In MSA, I didn't even pay one cent, NOT one CENT, for anything, and while I have plenty of units to my knowledge (mainly through cranks), I have to spend a lot of MSPs on leveling them up and that I have yet to get more powerful units and more stuff to upgrade them, all while accounting for frames which make a difference despite having two units be at the same level when at different frames and those star things which again effect the battle. I'm pretty sure other people can explain this better but to sum this all up, all those frames and stars needlessly complicate the game and I could have beaten not only more stages but also a few AS campaigns; same goes for improving my experience if we have like a kind of system to buy units without this multiple currency type nonsense and crank s--t. And I know some may argue that the microtransactions are "merely optional" and that I can just grind my way through the game; but I just can't since it would take a long ass time for me to get my units strong and considering that I have many games to play (and replay for some), it's not worth my time and that again the game is rigged to entice you to get the mircotransactions just to win battles. There's a quote from ReviewTechUSA about this kind of stupidity, "spending money to beat a video game or have an advantage in a video game isn't playing it" and indeed it defeats the purpose of playing games to enjoy them, I play games for the sake of it and not to worry about spending my hard earned money on stuff I rather grind to get (I know that you have to spend money in an arcade game but that doesn't count) ingame.

Here's a good video by Yong Yea that highlights how this microtransaction garbage can ruin an otherwise decent game:

Now granted it might not have anything to do with MSA, but I can't help but connect it to my experiences with said game. As for me, I gave up on the game (quite rightly I add) after almost a month of pondering whether or not to keep playing it and decided it wasn't worth it. Sadly a lot of players still stuck with playing this crap but hey that's their decision, a stupid one IMO. The least they can do is point out the Lickboot-ite s--t SNK pulls off on Reddit, but again it won't change the fact that SNK basically got away with this (let's face it) scam and will continue to keep milking it for the foreseeable future, much to the detriment of the franchise's dignity (and no the newbies and the Another Story mode just won't save the game IMO, the damage is already done). It doesn't matter if the game was alright before said waifus came, what matters is that it's on mobile, has microtransactions, and is rigged to get you to use them to get ahead in the game. I mean I can accept that it reuses much of the sprites from previous games along with the soundtrack (thought the SFX are messed up for some reason), but one that has the kind of stuff that takes longer than usual to get plenty of strong units (and leveling them) and a form of limiting your turns via "sorties" when you can just not have them is quite a deal breaker for me.

And honestly I don't want this damn game existing anymore and I have frankly had it, like enough is enough. At this point I just want it shut down, SOON. Like maybe at the end of the year soon; why? because SNK ain't going to fix it anytime and it's getting on my nerves. Some of you may say that I can just "ignore" it but I can't, it's the only thing in the franchise that's being kept relevant and frequently infesting not only the MS wiki but also my Google searches. Also I don't want an MS8, just nope; trying to be like the arcade games (the way MS7 and XX did) didn't work then and it wouldn't work now and people who advocate for them are frankly IMO naïve and misguided. At this point a reboot of the franchise is necessary IMO, one that would ditch being sprite based and maybe arcade like but not a lot of people are going to like that but I don't give a damn.

But anyway, to sum this all up, the waifus being sometimes stripperific can be somewhat odd, at least are somewhat interesting to have in the lore of the franchise's mythos, they are unfortunately part of SNK's ways to get suckers into playing Ass-tack and frankly, I can see through it and I would suggest you do too.

Update: While I have put up the quote about the characters from one of the Nazca staff, I should also mention that the franchise already has its share of "waifus" long before Ass-tack came out.

Con Suers Win: Nintendo Loses to iLife in Court

I just couldn't believe it when I heard of this a few days ago but thankfully Rich of ReviewtechUSA reminded me along with one of the posters on Main Event TV's facebook of this kind of shocking event: for the first time in history, Nintendo has just lost a lawsuit against some nobody company called iLife over some discontinued hardware that the company in question "claims" that Nintendo stole from (granted the hardware in question is the awesome Wii but I digress). In an ideal world no one would bother with the garbage false as hell "lawsuit" that iLife cooked up just to get more money for money's sake but alas that isn't so, as life can often not be fair. Someway, somehow the judge in some Texan court took stupid pills this morning and declared that Nintendo is the "culprit" and must pay up this con artist company for supposed "wrongdoings", that or he must be really retarded.

Either way, I can safely say that iLife can go f--k themselves for this kind of idiocy and getting away with it; Nintendo has no right to uphold their "appeal" thing and should just give those iLife Lickbootites the middle finger by not giving up the court issue. It's times like these where I wish I had some way of donating my money to something like a patreon equivalent to Nintendo to help them out financially (along with many other youtubers who have a lot of patreon accounts but I have no idea how to do so as of this post) but the whole patreon/gofundamee/something starter thing is another story for another time. But still I just can't belive that these d-----bag moneybags can pull off something like this; they have to like bribed the judge behind close doors or something, there's just no other way they could succeed in this.

But ranting about how much those iLife goons can take it up their asses wouldn't be any help but the least I (and maybe you) can do is keep up on any developments on this "Nintendo v. iLife" situation in the near future. Hopefully Nintendo can fight back against those pr--ks given that Nintendo is a multi-million dollar company with a lot of financial resources and supporters like myself (though granted they recently done some stupid decisions but that doesn't matter right now) to help them out.

Low Joe? Angry Joe vs. the Internet

(note: this might be old but I had other things to do so I'm just getting this up here while it's still relevant)

It seems that ol' Angry Joe getting different lately and that it's not sitting well with the community at large: namely him announcing his 2 month vacation from making game reviews and topping it off by disabling comments and ratings after the uproar he received. What led to the backlash was his vacation only applying to game reviews and not his other videos, which technically makes this kind of outrage understandable.

And as you can tell by my way of viewing it, I'm somewhat more understanding of Angry Joe than the community given that making reviews in general takes a while, especially with him having to do other responsibilities in life regarding health and chores just as I have to. However, I do not think disabling comments and ratings just after announcing this is a smart idea and is actually kind of shady; maybe it's because of the whole experience of seeing how a certain rad fem "critic" deal with criticism but I know AJ should know better. All he might end up doing is fanning the flames so the best thing he should do is well not. But then again he did admit on his response video that he would never do this kind of shutting down comments and ratings thing like 3 years ago and now he went back on it; talk about hypocrisy.

In regards to his vacation though, I'm going to do something after seeing this: I'm going to give Joe the benefit of the doubt by just waiting for his game reviews to come out. Why? because well as I have said, I understand the need to do other responsibilities in life and trying to get freshened up outside of making content (heck I have plenty of material to make after making this blog post) and in that sense I think he's right to do so. I know it may not be a popular opinion to espouse in light of this but my gripes with his handling of the backlash (and him claiming that the "haters" are after him and being subbed to those Young Turk jerks), but keeping calm and not do anything rash is the best way to handle it; though to be fair he should apply the vacation to his other reviews of which I don't care for as much as his game ones, that would help.

My Review of Ohrai's Metal Gear Works

It's July 13th, and today is the 30th anniversary of the Metal Gear franchise, one of my favorite gaming franchises of all time and I'm going to celebrate by reviewing the artworks of one of the best artists in history (though Konami is making a "game" to the dismay of anyone who cares about the series but I must digress for the sake of my sanity).

And of course I'm going to play art critic because why not? I don't have much to do as of this post. But anyway, for the sake of maintaining some atmosphere of positivity, I'm going to focus on his weakest works to the best ones since what else to end it on a positive note to celebrate a revered and respected franchise?

And before continuing, must note that I'm using my preferred nicknames for the games listed that don't have the Solid in them. Why? because that's how I wished they were called; it pays to have watched AVGN's video on the inconsistent sequel titles and I figure I would follow his words on them since I agree with him but that's another topic for another time.

So let's start on his cover for Metal Gear 4: Sons of Liberty (AKA Solid 2):

Good lord, it could some work; Snake looks like he's on crack or some other stilumant drug. That or he took way too much meds to keep himself awake. And I get it we all need something to keep ourselves awake in our times we're active but this just doesn't sound right. Also isn't he supposed to have his left eye shut for accuracy? And they appear to be purple for some reason as well as his face but moving on. Fortune's boobs look like freakin' torpedoes (and bigger than they were in the game!), not that I think it's a bad thing (and in fact it's a plus in my book) but of course that plus is outweighed by her legs looking too skinny for her physique and her face making her look like Michael Jackson to an extent. Fat Man seems to be either lacking a lower torso and his arms look bigger than they should be in the games but maybe it's the perspective of him crouching; not to mention his face looks purple for no reason (almost like a purple people eater!). Vamp looks alright, though him behind a hapless SEAL dude threw me off for a while, making me think he's either part of Dead Cell or "Snake Plisskin". A little odd that the cover depicts his death which seems a little violent to me but whatever, preferably I rather have his corpse slumped in front him or held up and having his blood sucked out like that one scene in the game. Overall, outside of those flaws, everything else seems alright, though those Gurlukovich Soldiers on the top right corner look like they're astronauts floating in space (to quote Pennywise, "They float...they all float").

Another cover for MG4:

Yeah another flawed one, though this one seems slightly better IMO. Raiden looks like he's either on botox or a member of Deathklok (or even that one black haired dude who's name escapes me); and his hair is blonde for some reason. Solidus Snake, while he's alright in terms of the depiction, looks like Ogma from Metal Slug 3D and his eye seems to have lost his pupil (perhaps it's due to the resolution displayed). Revolver Ocelot, while also drawn fine, looks almost like a different person and where it not for his SAA revolver, I probably would be confused as to his identity. "Mr. X", the blatant expy of Gray Fox, looks like he's having bowel problems and resisting the urge to go to the bathroom, almost like what Johnny Sasaki and his relatives constantly have. Over than those flaws, again everything seems alright.

On to the cover for Metal Gear 5: Snake Eater (AKA Solid 3):

Well this one seems to be more of an improvement over the over two but still some minor nitpicks. For one, Eva's face makes her look like she's in her thirties, but at least she's rocking that rack if you know what I mean. Also the Boss's gun looks slightly different than it was in the game and her eyes seem blackish for some reason like she's getting posessed. That and it seems to be cut off from the left edge, making it almost incomplete, otherwise I would be ranking this as one of the better covers Ohrai made.

Another cover for Metal Gear 5:

Another good one, and it seems more complete so to say. Though one flaw is the redundant use of the Boss in this, I know the rest of the entries repeat some of the characters over and over but this one to me feels unnecessary. Personally I stick with just having the Boss in the background and not also in the bottom right corner riding her horse; it should have been just the horse itself for all I care. That and Eva's right eye is slightly crooked, but it's pretty minor to say the least. Otherwise, a pretty good pic from Ohrai-san.

The cover for Metal Gear 3 (AKA Solid 1):

While predating the previous entries, this one seems to be a lot better and on par with the first cover for MG5. It's safe to say this might be one of my picks but I'll get to that later. Not only is this well drawn, but the composition is clear as hell to me; I can make out what side is the protagonist's and what is the antagonist's and it seems to be like getting the viewer on the edge of his/her seat. Though Liquid Snake's hair seems alitte short or that he seems slightly balder than he is, making look like John Smith from Disney's Pocahontas. That and Otacon's hair looks girlish for some reason but those are about it. A stunning work for a stunning game, that's pretty fitting so to say.

The cover for Metal Gear: Portable Ops (though I must disclose that I have not played the game yet though I have a PSP now and I probably should seek out a physical copy of it, and that I might not be able to know the names of some of the characters involved):

Now this one might be another top pick for me as this not only showing a clear composition about the sides involved but also seems slightly more action packed but not completely constant. Though again some nitpicks, like that dead woman Big Boss is next to seems white as snow for some reason and that the Cunningham guy seems fat (though maybe he's like that in the game). Over than those details, this one is great and on par with the last one. Though the guy with the white headband (who might be Roy Campbell if I remember) looks like Marco Rossi and that the gal in the middle with blue hair reminds me of Alice from that meh Metal Slug Attack game for some reason. I don't know why I needed to type that last sentence out but that's just a hunch I have.

So in conclusion the first two are weak, the middle two are fine (though the first one had potential to be part of the best), and the last two are superb. And if you ask me the best one out of all the covers Ohrai made, I'd say the one for Metal Gear PO takes the cake since it manages to be action packed and getting the viewers more effectively with most of the characters seeming to get ready to fight at a moment's notice.

Happy 30th Anniversary, Metal Gear! May you hope to be...um, remembered fondly by those that played the games in general.


Sources: http://videogamesdensetsu.tumblr.com/post/162906640390/noriyoshi-ohrai-生頼-範義-november-17-1935

Prepare to Cringe: Crash is the "Dark Souls" of Platformers

It has been almost a week since the Crash Bandicoot N Sane Trilogy came out for the "PS4" and if you ask me, it looks just as good as the originals, though there are some gripes I have with the game (especially in regards to the voice acting of which I feel is questionable in most parts). But alas, the mainstream games journalism must find something "witty" to say when covering the N Sane Trilogy games, namelydeclaring Crash Bandicoot, of all franchises, to be the "Dark Souls" of platformers.

It's stuff like this is why I not only not take mainstream gaming news seriously but also feel ashamed to be a millennial; it seems that the newer generation can't seem to appreciate the classics properly. I get that the games in general are tough but not impossible to beat, heck I just was able to beat them almost smoothy last year for the franchise's 20th anniversary celebration. All it took was raw skill and guts, no hand holding, no mircotransactions, no BS, nothing, and that's what I like about most games back in the day.

At least the good news is that a lot of people aren't taking this well and rightly so and in fact mocking it by making memes out of it, one of the joys of the internet.

Escándalo de Super Mario! Mario "Appropriates" Mexican outfits

Indeed, it didn't take long for snowflake crazies to find something to bash about the upcoming Super Mario Odyssey game; what Mario is wearing in particular when he goes to that Mexican looking kingdom place. I mean people are getting upset that Mario is wearing a Sombrero and a Poncho in the game; and keep in mind that the reason he wears it is to have the one guy get his approval regarding  a dress code in the kingdom in the game. But alas, the mere fact that Mario is wearing them means that somehow the game is racist towards Mexicans; like as if Nintendo would go out of its way to tick off the population of Mexico and its cousins outside of Mexico. Last time I checked, Mario's more concerned about rescuing Peach from Bowser Koopa's wedding that she didn't want and I highly doubt he should worry about the Mexican clothes he dons later on as long as he's...you know, fully clothed and not otherwise.

Thankfully a lot of Mexican people aren't really offended at this and in fact are pretty okay with it, as anyone should be. That and of course folks like AlphaOmegaSin pointing out the absurdity of the whole backlash against Mario wearing sombreros and ponchos.

I don't know about you, but there's a lot of things I'd be more concerned about when it comes to Super Mario Odyssey than a freaking sombrero and poncho and I suggest you do too.

It Once Did Everything: PS3 gets discontinued in Japan and a Potential Memoriam

I really feel bitter writing this considering my liking for the console in question and my lack of fondness for it's "successor" but I must address this since it just happened sooner than I thought: the dreaded time when the PS3, the last great Sony console IMO, is officially discontinued in its home country, Japan. I know some people (SOME people) will just not care and go "oh boo-hoo, an olld console dat almost nobah-dee carez abowt in da wohrld iz goin' de wey of da doh doh but I gawt me sum fancier s--t with moar graphics and spekz and s--t so I dawnt feel bahd" but let me, as one of the presumably few people sticking with an "old dinosaur" console put my thoughts on this.

I'm simply saddened that Sony chose to put a pretty console out into the pasture and basically making us gamers stick to the "PS4" of which will always be a PS3.5 without backwards compatibility nor it's very convenient XMB menu system; all this without even putting back the ability to play PS2 discs in some version that can considered the "swan song"! God, writing that just makes me even more angry at Sony for just canning the PS3; I get it, it's no longer the big system that the gamer community care anymore for some reason but at least give it a few more years before say 2020 and maybe a few more games like Atlus did with Persona 5, of which I will forever be happy to own it as one of the last PS3 games ever made in my lifetime but I digress. I mean the PS2, despite it's heyday fading out by 2008, got to be able to be made until 2013, that's like 13 years since it came out in the year 2000 and with the rather unwarranted advent of the "PS4", I expect the company to do the same with the PS3, in spite of my earlier distaste for the console since Sony thought it was a great idea to get rid of backwards compatibility, disc-wise for the PS2, in their later models (and I will never get over it, never!). But alas, I was wrong and here they are discontinuing the console in their home country of all places, though to be fair they did start this trend in New Zealand almost two years ago so it's technically expected this would happen but not this early.

*Sigh* At least I have the Nintendo Switch as the true next-gen console to look forward too, that system is worth getting for as far as I'm concerned (the PC doesn't count, though I would need to get Win 10 sometime before 2020 but that's another story for another time) .